Pumping For Breastmilk

Ah yes, time to discuss breastfeeding and pumping.  Where shall I begin??? 

(I apologize ahead of time I'm very sleepy therefore this is not one of my more colorful posts)

    Unlike quite a few of my friends I guess I will say I got lucky and Gabriel had a perfect latch as soon as he was born.  I knew aleady that I was going to breastfeed.  Two reasons; 1- It was healthiest 2- It's FREE!  How can you pass up free?  I was given the opportunity for him to room in with me so that I could freely breastfeed him, until he was taken away to the NICU that is.  Once he was in the NICU I was able to visit and feed him for the next 24 hours that I was in the hospital.  After that he would be placed on formula and bottle fed.  That did not make me happy.  But I knew he needed to eat and eat a lot to help flush his system and get his kidneys going as well.  I would breastfeed when I could during my visits.  There was one moment I was sweating it out because suddenly he didn't recognize my nipple and was screaming hungry but would not latch on.  We went at it for 5 mins before he finally latched on.
   Once I got home I would pump like a mad woman to get a dripple of colostrum.  I saved every drop of it and brought it to NICU and they would give it to him.  I was worried my milk wouldn't come in and my aunt and everyone else reassured me that I would know when it came in.  Sure enough I woke up one morning and my boobs were like lumpy bricks and hurt like hell!!  Pumping was nearly impossible at that point.  I ended up using a bag of frozen veggies to take down the swelling.  That aided in a great let down for me.  So for me, and it rings true to this day (14 weeks later) hot or cold will cause me to have a let down.  I generally go to warmth first with a heating pad when I'm really engorged and having trouble letting down.  I was up pumping every 2 hours in the beginning and it would take forever sometimes to pump an appropriate amount.  I immediately began over producing.  I was unsure how much I should be producing and after reading a number of things online it seems that there is no right number just as long as you have enough to feed your baby and he or she is thriving.  I personally over produce milk.  I can pump 1000cc-1500cc (33-50oz) in a day.  Production is on the lower side on the days that I have him latch.  I normally have him latch in the wee hours of the morning because that's easier for me and I can easily fall asleep while he nurses.  For a while I've been pumping every 3-4 hours.  There are a few random times I can go to the max of 6 hours before I'm engorged, painful, and can hardly lift my arms above my head.  

The Lansinoh bottles have my preferred nipple.  There are no latch issues after these.

Has My Supply Suffered?
  Thus far I have not had my supply suffer.  I made sure to track my production over several weeks to make sure I was producing enough throughout the day.  I'm not the healthiest eater on earth and I don't eat as many times a day as I should due to the nature of my job.  I believe that key for me has been the fact that I can easily down a gallon of water a day.  I drank water A LOT while pregnant so I just continued out of force of habit once I began pumping.  I always have a container of water while I'm pumping and make sure that I drink while pumping.   I also make sure to massage my breasts to help with let down.  I make sure to gently rub out any knots that are present due to me waiting too long to pump.  As my baby hit growth spurts and began drinking more my body automatically began producing what was needed to feed him.  Also, when he nurses, he could never drink enough to empty me so I'll allow him to nurse one side while I pump the other.  That greatly assists in a let down.  Once he's done nursing I will pump the side he was nursing on to make sure it's empty.  From my experience if I don't empty or I'm too stressed and don't have a proper let down my breasts angrily fill back up with way more milk than usual.  Me skipping pumpings, wearing tighter bras, and sleeping on my stomach only result in extra stimulation of my breasts therefore a faster production of milk. 

Uneven Supply

   In the beginning my left side out produced my right side to the moon and back. This was a bit concerning. After consulting with google I realized one side producing more was normal.  For some people it would catch up.  To remedy this I had my baby nurse more on the lower producing side, pumped when he was done, and massaged until nothing more was left.  Over a few weeks time this worked and production caught up.  My left side will always produce more, but the right side is only a few cc's off. 

How Long Do I Pump For?

   In the beginning I was doing marathon sessions because I could not master the art of let down.  I would stare at the bottles trying to will a milk let down and desperately wanting the bottles to fill up.  I finally learned that once I relax I had no problem. I started taking that time to look through my phone, play a game, look at facebook, or text a friend.  Before I knew it my bottles would be full.  I began being able to pump with a full let down for 20mins and then the unspeakable happened.  MY NIPPLES CRACKED!  OMG they cracked.  It was painful.  It was like when your lips are chapped and they slightly crack or crack in the corners of your mouth.  I was tempted to stop everything when that happened.  But after reading it seems everyone was encouraged to keep it up.  I began using more and more lanolin onintment to help out, but honestly it didn't help me.  I wanted to use vaseline but because that's not food grade I skipped out on that one.  What helped?  After pumping, for way longer than 20mins, on a very low suction setting, I soaked my nipples using shot glasses, in saline solution for 5 mins.  After that I would wipe a litttle breast milk on them and let them air dry.  It took 2 weeks, but they finally healed.  Oh, ointment wise I tossed the expensive lanolin ointment to the side and began using coconut oil instead.  currently I have a brusied nipple so I'm back to taking it easy with longer sessions. 

My Pumping Schedule

   Normally I wake up to pump at 2am or a little later.  I'm up for about an hour pumping, measuring, bagging and cleaning everything.  My baby never fails in waking up just as I'm ready to lay back down again so my husband rolls out of bed and gets him a bottle.  The nights my husband works I have to suck it up and get a bottle.  At 2am I have to fully drain myself so he takes a bottle.  I pump again at 5 or 6am.  The baby may wake up though at 4:30 and 5:30am.  If that happens I breastfeed.  At those times he eats less and allowing him to latch soothes him and he's back to sleep very quickly.  I've learned to pump in the car.  Yes, in the car.  Because of my work schedule interferes with my pumping schedule I tend to pump while drivng to work.  I get in the car, strap on my hands free bra, start up the pump, cover myself with a jacket and off I go.  I will also do this when we are out for the day or on long car rides.  I have no choice. Once I get to work I pump again around 10am, 3 or 4pm, and 7pm or on the way home at 8pm.  Once I get home I pump again at 10:30pm and I may pump at midnight or skip until 2am. 
   Pumping gets old and I'm so exhausted when I wake up in the middle of the night to pump.  I honestly managed to prop myself up in a forward leaning position and fell asleep pumping one night.  My pump shuts off after 60mins.  I woke up in a panic and was for sure I had strangled my nipples and cut of circulation after pumping that long.  It was okay though.  Bottles were seriously full, but the girls were okay. 

Pumping While Working

   Thankfully my job is very accomodating.  It's hard at times for me to break away and pump because I'm a vet tech at an emergency clinic so I can't always break away exactly on time if I'm dealing with a critical patient.  The second I can disappear my co-workers are cool and I'm off to pump.  Luckily I can take one of the computers and work on things while pumping.  Again, having something to do helps me take my mind of puming to have a let down. 

My freezer before the deep freezer

Milk Storage

   I generally keep 10 bags in the refrigerator at all times.  The average bag has 4-5oz in them.  I freeze the rest.  I produced so much our freezer was full.  We could no longer keep food in it and then the ice cubes were thrown out.  As of yesterday (11/8/14) we got a 5.2 cubic feet deep freezer just to keep my milk in.  It's great, I'm just wondering how I'm going to effeciently rotate milk.  My oldest mlik is from October 1st.  I think every week and a half we send a tub of frozen milk to daycare.  It frees up some space, but it's never enough. At this point I should buy stock in breastmilk bags. 

Which Pump Do I Use?

   I hated the pump at the hospital and thankfully brought my own with me.  I use the Lansinoh Sginature Pro pump.  It has held up quiet nicely.  I have an option of battery or plug in.  When I had to travel 8 hours with it and realized the battery portion didnt work we got an adapter for the car, I called the company and one was overnighted to my desitnation with no problem and the defective one returned at no cost to me. 

Lastly, I have Breast Implants.

   I've had implants for a very long time.  Mine are within the tissue, not under the muscle.  I had concerns about being able to produce, but my doctor told me he didn't think it would be a problem.  My implants are perfectly seated without having disrupted my mammary glands.  It doesn't seem as though breast feeding has effected them either.  They sit the same way even when they are perfectly soft and empty. 

My Last 12 Weeks With A New Baby

My Last 12 Weeks With Gabriel

   These last 3 months have been very life changing.   I was concerned about being a disconnected mom because frankly I can be that way with people in real life.  It scared me and my husband assured me he was prepared to step in should that occur or postpartum depression kick in.  Thankfully that wasn't the case.  

Our First Night Home

   The first night was not so bad at all.  Gabriel began sleeping a lot at night in NICU.  I was adjusted to waking up numerous times in the middle of the night to pump anyway. One of our major issues was that Gabriel was allowed to sleep on his tummy in NICU and was never swaddled.  Once we got him home and attempted to swaddle and place him on his back it was a screaming match.  He was very uncomfortable, his startle reflex was very strong, and if he fell asleep on his tummy on one of us, the second we placed him down he would wake up screaming.  I read in numerous places that many other moms had the same problem and just felt it wasn't worth the fight and allowed their children to sleep on their tummy.  Also my ultimate plan was to have him in his crib right away, but while in NICU Gabriel was able to push himself all over the place in his little box, so we were scared of what may happen alone in a large crib.  He has slept in the bassinet beside our bed.  The only reason he's still there is because his room is as cold as the beer walk-in in a gas station.  Back to sleeping......His pediatrician was adimate that gabriel sleep on his back because the doctor had lost 4 babies to SIDS and wanted to prevent it in any way possible.  I was concerned about the screaming and overheating my baby would do when I attemped to let him scream it out.  The doctor said to go 20min rounds of crying then comforting.  So one night I buckled down and had a go at it.  IT WORKED! I felt bad letting him cry that way but it was worth it.  It worked.  We had a relapse here and there and a few nights I placed him in his crib, but I then really got no sleep and watched the monitor on silent because he would just keep screaming.  But we have it down now and thankfully that horrid startle reflex has finally worn off.  I did it because had we had a SIDS incident I would feel as though I did everything possible to prevent it.  I would have never forgiven myself for allowing tummy sleep when it was correctable. 

   Luckily for us Gabriel has been a very easy baby.  He's always very happy and is a major cuddler.  The only time he cries is when he's hungy or just fussy because he's fighting sleep.  He loves bath time.  He is so happy while getting a bath and just smiles and kicks his feet.  We couldn't have asked for a happier baby.  

My Personal Recovery

   My body was very slow to heal.  My pelvis hurt so bad most days that I could hardly walk up right and I had major cramping.  I was really upset because I thought I would heal faster than that, but I think the stress I went through during that first week did me in and I wasn't sleeping.  After my aunt left my eating fell off as well.  My aunt was amazing and cooked every day for me while she was here and left food for me to have for several days after her departure.  I thought that I would be able to get right back on my feet and hit the gym, but I couldn't.  I couldn't do anything.  My body was a wreck and I was in pain daily.  Let us not forget the awful rash that broke out across my back days after I left the hospital.  OMG it was horrible and itched like an S.O.B.  During pregnancy I developed eczema and thankfully the cream I had for that helped to calm the rash, but other than that I was taking benedryl at night because that's when it seemed to itch the most.  It took me about 4 weeks to be able to leave the house.  I remember one outting we went to the mall and I could have swore the bottom of me was going to fall out. The things that go on down there are not so pretty, especially if you've been stitched back up.  Thankfully my tear was minor.               SIDE NOTE - They took so long to stitch me back up because they were being perfectionists that after a while, without any filter on my mouth, and I scremed in my head a little as I let out the biggested annoyed sigh ever!  I couldn't believe I was doing that to people that were taking great care in making sure one of the most precious parts of me was properly back together again.  It was so loud, coupled with a facial expression I'm sure, that everyone looked up at me. In an instant I said, "Wow, you guys are really good at your job.  I'm glad you're perfectionists." (insert big drugged smile)
   Three months later I've not been back to the gym yet.  I've dropped weight each week.  With as much as I'm pumping and breastfeeding I'm sure I'm burning the maximum 500 calories a day.  My eating could be better and I'm trying.  My job doesn't allow for the best eating habits especially if we are slammed with emergencies, critical patients, or I'm stuck in surgery all day.  But the workout will resume again shortly.  I have to.  I can't keep the extra weight on.  I gained 30-35lbs.  Most of it is gone, I just need to tone up and shrink down my legs and tighten my stomach.  It's amazing how your belly can be like jello.  I tighten up my abs, touch, and get grossed out because there's no longer any tone or definition.  

Back To Work At 7 Weeks

   I had to get back to work.  I love my baby, but I had run through the money that I'd allowed myself for maternity leave.  Back to work I went and off to daycare Gabriel went.  My husband has a client that runs an in home daycare that had great reviews.  I made a visit one day and I was impressed.  Her daycare was like walking in to kindergarden.  She runs a very structred learning environment.  Children don't just sit in front of the tv and have random playtime all day.  They actually learn.  They learn to develop all of their skills there very quickly and she makes sure that children are meeting their milestones.  They also get one on one time everyday to make sure of this.  I had no anxiety about placing my little bundle of joy in her hands.  He has done well there and recently flipped himself over for the first time.  When I got his midday log I wanted to cry because I'd intended on working on that skill when I got home that night.  He's learning quickly.  He goes to daycare 3 days a week and the rest of the time I'm off of work and have him.  Incase you are wondering I work three 12 hour shifts.  My husband is a personal trainer and is able to set his schedule so that he can drop him off and pick him up.  So things have worked out well.  I'm also glad that she knows how to handle breastmilk.  I was concerned that some places could careless about how to handle it and how long it was good for.  I'm able to drop off a frozen stash to her and she does what's needed.
   My job is thankfully understanding about me pumping and I have no problem being able to pump while at work.  They now also understand the longer I'm held back from pumping the longer it takes me.  Therefore I get to pump on time.  I don't have to pump every 2 hours.  Every 4 hours is my max to go without pumping.  Anything after that and I'm a soggy mess. I'll blog later about that whole pumping and production thing.

Overall

The last three months have been okay.  We all adjusted quickly.  We now change diapers and dress Gabriel in record time.  We know what goes in the diaper bag and can prepare it quickly.  Getting buckled in to the car seat is also quick.  Middle of the night cries get old quickly though.  I get 5 hours of broken sleep a night.  I try to get to sleep by 10pm.  That turns in to midnight on a lot of nights.  I'm awake again by 230am in order to pump and without fail the baby wakes up as soon as I'm done.  At that point I wake up dad and tell him to get the bottle because I go back to sleep.  Depending on the night I could then be awake at 430, 530, and finally at 615.  On a regular night I wake up again at 630am to pump before getting dressed for work.  Gabriel wakes up right before I walk out the door and I wake up dad and shove the baby and bottle in his face.   I've also mastered late night breastfeeding and sleeping when I don't feel like making a bottle.  That mainly happens on the nights that my husband works over night security until 5am.  I don't know where the super human power comes from for me to run off of so little sleep and function on such a high level at work.  I do believe now that moms come with super powers.  Numerous nights I've thought about how freaking sick and tired I am of pumping and think of just quitting all together.  Then the cost of formula and the fact that Gabriel has severe upset stomach with formula, we found that out on an attempt to supplement early on in laziness, crosses my mind and I suck it up and hook myself up like a human cow.  I'll continue because it's FREE and mainly because it's healthiest for my baby.
   I have no major complaints.  I think my animal husbandry skills all these years have more than prepared me for taking care of a human baby.  I look at him daily and just think of how incredible it is that we've created such a beautiful baby.  I look at his sleeping face and wonder who he will be one day.  I think back to all I endured to bring him in this world and KNOW that it was all worth it.  He will be 13 weeks old on 10/27/14 and thus far he recognizes me and dad, smiles appropriately, will coo back and forth with you, tracks people and objects, flips over on to his back, prefers to stand, holds his head up, grabs toys and mommy's hair, and is now drooling like crazy, we believe he's starting to teethe.  Everyday is a new adventure with him.  Time is quickly passing by. I find myself in the moment attempting to slow down time as much as possible. 

Questions?
Feel there's something I haven't discussed in detail?  Have specific questions or something you'd like me to specifically blog?  Pictures you'd like to see?  Please let me know.   Find more pictures and updates on Instagram @alonnajames .

  
 

July 27-28th 2014 - I have a BABY BOY!

   Alright, I know I haven't updated any of this in the last several months because I've been through so much.  But here goes.

Labor and Delivery

   Sunday July 27th, I'd been having contractions, braxton hicks over the last week and was sent home from the hospital twice.  Sunday afternoon my contractions were painful, I called the doctor and was told to time them for the next hour.  I did and they were 4mins apart for the full hour.  My friend was at home with me while my husband and aunt ran to the grocerty store.  I felt bad that she had to sit and watch me go through the labor pains, but I must say, Kelly was very comforting, rubbing my back when I had one.  As soon as everyone was back from the store we went to the hospital.  I was hooked up to the machines, my contractions continued to get stronger and more painful.  The nurse came in and said she could see them every 3-4 mins on the monitor.  The resident finally came and checked me.  I WAS NOT DILATED any more that I had been over the last week.  I was in shock.  And then began crying my eyes out when I was sent home! Home?  You've got to be kidding me?! What am I to do at home?  Wait for my water to break? How much closer could these contractions get?  Or go home and wait to pass out from all the labor pain?  Take your pick, but I was being turned away.  I went home and continued to have contractions every 4mins for the entire night.  I was in major pain.  For the ladies.....imagine your worst period cramp escalate to 100 and then hold it in your fist and then there was a secondary pain, a white hot shooting pain down my hip flexors on both sides that prevented me from standing straight up.  While having this I would run to the bathroom because you have an overwhelming feeling of pressure and a need to push something out.  I was in so much pain and so angry that I was sent home I almost pulled the towel rack off the walll and had to stop myself from punching a hole in the wall.  And ladies, you will void everything!  At least I did.  Eating was no longer a concern.  You feel nothing but pain and anxiety.  Me and my husband and my poor aunt had to deal with my back and forth all night, my odd pain noises, and cries of frustration.  I knew that having this baby at home was not an option because I tested positive for strep B and that could be a fatal complication to the birth of my child.  I knew I would have to have IV penicillin on board before delivering.   I held out until 8am.  My husband called and explained what had happened all the day before and all through the night, they asked me to come in and I said I refuse to come in to be turned away they have to do something.  She said okay they would give me meds so that I could rest.  I managed to get dressed and as I waited for those two to get ready was on the floor screaming because now I would swear someone was ripping my pelvis apart.  I suddenly screamed out, "We have to leave right FUCKING NOW!".    Off we went.  My husband blew every red light on the way, with caution of course, thankfully we didn't get tickets in the mail later, and my aunt hung in there for the wild ride to the hospital as I was in the back trying to climb the seats with no where to go.

Finally We're Here!

   As soon as I arrrived, they already knew me becaused I'd been in and out so much, the doctor came straight away to check and said I was dilated to 5cm.  They began right away hooking up my IV, fluids and starting the antibiotics as well as great medication called Nubain.  I was able to finally get some rest and no longer felt any of my contractions.  After the fact I was told by my husbband that according to me there was a purple elephant in the room and some other statements of delusion were made as well.  I stayed down in labor and delivery until was dilated to 7 which took hours.  Put it this way, I was admitted around 8am and did not have my baby until a little after 8pm. 

Epidural

 Once I was moved upstairs I had the option of the epidural.  At that point the nubain was wearing off, I asked for more and got a half dose and was debating the epidural.  At this point my body was done with the pain I'd endured over the last 4 days.  I had reached my limit and approved the epidural after speaking with the anesthesiologist and weighing all the risks, especially since i have a bad back.  Let me tell you, that epidural is no joke and you feel a few things with that going in and will most certainly have a contraction as they are doing it.  As soon as it's in you have instant relief and numbness to both legs.  Seems that you'll be numb more on one side than the other.  

Ladies don't believe when you are told that you can't turn down your epidural.  Yes you can.  If you can't feel even the pressure of your contractions or atleast flex your foot and wiggle your toes, in my opinion, it's too much.   I had mine cut back and it was prefect.  I'm thankful that I made the choice to have one because they had to add pitocin because my contractions were not strong enough and I was super slow to dilate. That means you'll be in even more pain.  Speaking of pain.  The penicillin hurts like a bitch going in IV and I had 3 bags of it. You must have a bag every 4 hours and they run it in quickly.

Time to Push

   Now this was awkward.  They kept checking me and eventually had to break my water and finally I was at 10!!  Then they say okay it's time to push.  In my head i'm thinking, push? Just push? That's it?  No more warning or preparation? Just push and instantly you have an addition to your life?  Suddenly my bed  is transformed and I'm being told to wait for the pressure and just push.  One nurse has one leg, my husband has the other, very dead, heavy leg, and I pushed.  Three rounds of pushing and he was out!  I remember him coming out and me looking at a mini me.  My eyes about popped out of my head at how much this little person I've been carrying around looked like me!  They laid him on me and he instantly stopped crying and got comfortable until they took him away to have everything done.  This was all in the same room of course.  Then he was turned over to my husband and my aunt while I was stitched back together.  Yes, I had a small tear that took them forever to perfect and I'm thankful for that. When asked by the nurse how I felt, I replied, "Hungry!"  lol I was given a hospital grade turkey sandwich and juice.

Time to Move

   They turned my epidural off the second he was out and I had to wait for that to wear off in order to get to the bathroom and pee because they continued to threaten me with a catheter if i didn't urinate soon.  Finally I couldn't sit anymore any braced myself to get to the bathroom.  I didn't think about the mess I would trail until the nurse came in and caught me getting up.  Oops!  Oh well, I was cleaned up, urinated, ice packed, had my baby in hand and was on my way upstairs to my room.  

The Devistation

   Once we are moved in to our new room for the next 2 days they take baby Gabriel away in to the nursery to start running his blood tests and doing his first complete physical.  He was given back to me fairly quickly.  Then the doctor comes in with the bad news.  I couln't keep my baby with me because he was jaundice and had to be placed under lights.  I was okay with that.  I gave him up and they told me I'd be able to breastfeed him as needed .  But early that morning I was then told he was not responding and would be sent to the NICU.  I was okay for a few moments.  I was explained what happened and why and asked all my questions and was okay.  I thought, well I tell people these things everyday at work with their animals and I totally understood everything that was happening.  But suddenly the tears and devistation kicked in.  Although it was all mapped out and rational in my head I couldn't stop my overwhelming emotional reaction.  I realized that my body had gone through so much over the last 40 weeks to bring this little boy in to the world and I'd be leaving with nothing.  I would have to leave my precious baby behind.  I was hurt and confused and felt helpless.  The tears began to freely flow and my heart broke.

NICU

   Gabriel stayed in NICU for the first week of his life blindfolded and under lights in a little box.  He was having his heels pricked constantly for blood and I felt horrible for him.  Thankfully his time on IV fluids was short lived.  I would go home and pump like a mad woman to produce milk for my little one.  I traveled back and forth to the hospital at all hours  including 3am.  My husband was taking this just as hard as I was and would go to the hospital at all hours as well. I constantly brought in milk.  My husband and I would sit, watch, and wait for Gabriel to wake up so that we could feed and hold him for maybe 15mins.  It broke my heart to leave him there.  He would cry as he was bliindfolded again to be placed back in his box with nothing but a diaper on.   At one point I about refused to go to the NICU.  I went anyways and broke down in tears in the hallway.  His time there was effecting me and I was getting very depressed. I cried all the time wanting nothing more than to have my baby boy at home.  His test results played with my mind because they would improve and then decline again.  The blood levels were eventually low enough for him to come home as long as I promised to return the next day for blood work.  And to see the pediatrician right away. No problem for me, just give me my baby!