I returned to my doctor's office last week for my 38 week visit with an attitude that it was a great waste of my life to even show up. The night before I'd set up in my mind that I was not going to go so that I could hear more bad news that I'm no closer to delivering the body snatcher inside of me. Instead I woke up that moring and decided to go. What else was I going to do with my day?
At this point in pregnancy you get used to checking in, getting weighed, blood pressure being taken and then asked everytime to pee in a cup. No biggie, off to the bathroom I go. What happens? I pee in the cup, wipe, and behold.....my mucus plug! I got super excited! Certianly that has come out, I must be significantly dilated and OMG labor must be on it's way right?!?!?! WRONG! Once again!
I head in to my doctor only to be told i'm hardly dilated and it means nothing. JOY! Once again I'm super shot down feeling like this is never going to happen. Even though at this visit I'm informed that I'm having contractions that I'm not feeling. Start of contractions?! Plug gone?! And yet it means nothing? My emotions are certainly being toyed with. He made sure to let me know that these are nothing but fake contractions getting my body prepared for childbirth.....at some point down the line....whenever that may be....sigh.
That appointment was on a Thursday and I went the rest of the weekend without being aware of the contractions unless I was touching my belly and could feel it harden because they were not hurting at all. Sunday arrives and I'm having some discomfort with things, trouble walking because I'm certain at any moment my pelvis is goin to split in half, and at times a little back pain. I spent most of my day in and out of the stores getting errands and last min baby things finished. I layed down that night at bed time only to shoot up at 10:30pm with cramping, pain, contractions, sick, running to the bathroom and thinking wtf is going on?! I calmed down, took a shower, and put my aunt and husband on alert. I then sat up the next few hours counting contractions, the ones that still didn't hurt, until they were pretty consistent with every 4min 30 seconds. At 1:30 am we're loaded up and headed to labor and delivery with me banking on being sent back home.
OF COURSE I WAS SENT HOME! Why wouldn't I be? How incomplete would this series of events be if it wasn't another opportunity for my emotions to be played with like a cat playing with a poor insect before eventually killing it, but not before pulling all of it's legs off? I was hooked up to monitors, had an ultrasound, and then a physical. Nothing! Contractions have stopped, physical revelaed nothing, baby is fine and plenty of fluid still around him. Back home we go after hours wasted. Hit the bed at 5am and up for work at 9:30am- 4.5 hours later.
39 Weeks Check Up
I worked my normal work week and left early the last day of my shift becuase I was having trouble walking with a few of the contractions because they were causing "back labor". These were then 13mins apart for a while. I get home and they virtually stop.
I walk in for my doctor appointment this morning and NOTHING! I promise you my cervix has managed to super glue itself closed again! At this point I'm emotionally devistated. I started to cry right in the office. I didn't want to hear any of it. I then asked what could I do to help this along? Could I please be induced? Anything?! I was told nothing would be done until I was 41 weeks pregnant. That is then when they would, "...throw in the towel". Until then I would have to deal with running to the bathroom twice an hour in the night now, burning hips, and the ever increasing pelvic pain that is now causing me to take baby steps because any stride longer that that made the pain worse. I would swear to you at the point if i took a larger stride my leg would certainly just dislocate and fall off. Either way I had to come back again in a week. A week? For more bad news? To endure this emotional abuse? HA! And I stormed out in tears without another appointment.
What do I do now??
Prepare for the baby? Mani Pedi? Go some place? Yeah right! I have all the baby things finished, I just had a mani pedi and walking is just painful. My options are limited. In fact after writing this that'll be even less things I'm able to do. Sigh.....I guess they'll see my face at work on Monday.
My Emotional Attachment to Being Dilated - According to my doctor.
I went in for my 37 week check up and was hoping since I was only 3 weeks away from being due that surely there must be some sort of change happening in there bringing me ever so close to delivering this baby! TMI alert - I was having lots more fluid happening and thought I could have possibly had some sort of partial rupture and knew that the fluid could be tested.
BOY WAS I EVER WRONG! - Fluid was not from a rupture and I was NOT dilated at all! I was super upset and the not so nice words started to fly until my doctor stopped me. He then told me, "You know what it is? It's your emotional attachment to being dilated." He then explained the plain truth about the situation. The fact is I could have been 4cm dilated and it wouldn't have mattered at all becuase I was not in active labor and I could stay that way for weeks. So emotionally would I have been even more wrecked finding that out? I could go home that night, cervix super glued shut as it was, and suddenly go in to active labor. He was right. What was I to do except for except the facts, suck it up, and move on with my life impatiently awaiting my due date.
At this point I'm tired of the leaking faucet I have going on, tired of not sleeping because I have to run to the bathroom every hour if not more fequently during the night. I'm still working and at this point if I must get on the floor with an animal, getting up is not only very difficult but painful. My swelling has increased, my joints are hurting, and I'm suddenly unable to wear my wedding rings due to the fluid retention. When I sleep my hips and muscles burn like fire causing me to roll every hour. Makes me feel like a chicken rotating her eggs every so often so they are cooked evenly on all sides. All I can say at this point is, I'm tired and OVER IT ALREADY!
I apologize that I have not updated in such a long time. So here we go from 20-35 weeks.
20 week 2 day Ultrasound!!
It's a boy for sure! The doctor placed the tranducer on my belly and as soon as he did it was clear that we were having a baby for for sure! He had his butt facing us and we had a clear view of his man parts. If you are a person that does not want to know the sex, I advise that you look away as they are doing your ultrasound.
I will be honest with you and say it wasn't very eventful through those weeks. My eating was on and off, I never had any cravings, and still don't, I was seeing my doctor every 2 weeks, and steadily gaining weight, in an apporpriate way. I didn't really start showing until I was 28-30 weeks in. Infact at 6 months I even participated in a photoshoot and you could not tell at all that I was pregnant. I was excited for that!
At 28 Weeks I went in for a rhogam injection. It wasn't that bad, but burned a lot. That same day I also had my routine appointment and a glucose test (sugar tolerance test). They have you drink a drink, to me it tastes like just a very surgary juice, wait 1 hour and pull your blood exactly an hour after you finished your drink. I was scheduled for this test 2 weeks prior, but due to flooding here and traffic I was 3 blocks away from the hospital at the time I should have been sitting to have my blood drawn. It's very time sensitive so if you don't get there in time, then plan on rescheduling your appointment.
Also at 28 weeks was my first baby shower and the same weekend I got married! I traveled from Philadelphia to North Carolina for my baby shower and small wedding ceremony. It was a beautiful weekend and I'm so pleased at my dear friend that pulled it all off for me. Of course our trip was not complete without being delayed one day due to a blown out tire just as we were getting on the highway.
Again, up until this point the most things that changed were just the weight gain, being able to feel the baby move more, finally some belly growth, and I've continued working as a vet tech. I was moved off the night shift close to 6 months pregnant and placed on day shift as I could not be in radiology or be around for gas anesthesia procedures. Now on day shift I handle in/out patient things, in house treatments, and training. It works for me, but there are days I feel like a beach ball rolling around the clinic getting things done.
30 weeks
I woke up one morning and suddenly my belly had changed?! I walked up to my husband and he looked and agreed something had changed with my belly. I had no pain, no fluid leaks, nothing like that going on just a dropped sort of look. I called my dr's office and was asked to come in that afternoon, but I would have to see a different doctor. She stated that I'd only dropped to (-4), the scale starts at (-5), but that I measured smaller than she would like.
32 weeks
I went in for a growth ultrasound and the baby measured just fine. There was plenty of fluid around him and he was appropriate weight for how far along we were, which was about 4lbs.
The following day I went in for my doctor visit. He was okay with my pregnancy progress, did a routine check, and everything was good. That day I did start to have some of my swelling start early in the morning and both my legs were super swollen. He was not concerned becuase the swelling was even in both legs lol. My doctor is so funny at times. He's very open, matter of fact, not an alarmest, answers my husbands silly questions, wants pregnancy to progress without help unless there is a real risk to mom and/or baby, and always willing to teach. At this point he feels as though my baby is going to be about 7lbs give or take a little, but not much bigger than that. Thank goodess for my vagina!
35 weeks
Now we are up to date. I keep gaining steady weight and it's very hard on me. I've gone from 175 to 200lbs and it's rough. I don't know how people can carry around so much weight on a regular basis. After long 12-14 hour shifts at work My legs are swollen, my feet feel sore and even my knees hurt. Sleeping at night is very hard now. Up to maybe 3 weeks ago I could sleep on my back with no problem and now sleeping on my back takes my breath away. I sleep on my side, but my hips begin to burn and I rotate sides about every hour. The baby stays on my right side so imagine what my shifting uterus feels like when i switch back to my left. Painful! I'm also up just as often to pee. I swear I hate running to the bathroom. Getting up and down is such a chore and so is getting in and out of the car and jeep. I feel like a rollie-pollie. My breasts have also started to grow AGAIN! How is this possible?! I'm at the point where I'm over being pregnant and ready to just have this baby already. I'm also very tired all the time again. Where is this nesting energy people talk about? Hasn't happened over here. Thankfully, knock on wood, I haven't gotten any stretch marks anywhere. I lube up daily with coconut oil and palmers cocoa butter. I'm not sure if that saved me or not because according to my genetics I should have had a crap load of them by now. I've even gone out and sported a bikini several times at the pool.
Other changes- Now that the baby is super head down he presses on the nerves in my vagina quite frequently and I like to compare this to sciatica of the vagina. It sends sharp shooting pains down there and wills top you in your tracks! He also has a great way of rolling up under my rib cage on the right side constantly. Seems like we are both running out of room here. Of course my stomach is displaced so the heartburn is horrible! Tums are my best friend at this point. Eating isn't as easy becuase I can only eat but so much at once. Most of the time my pasta order for lunch lasts for 3 meals for me. Oh, how could I forget.....I walk around frequently with my right hip out of place. This is a feeling that I know for sure because I caused this injury when I was younger in gymnastics. Not fun at all when it's out. I can also hear it pop when that never used to happen. I would have thought that I'd have rip roaring sciatica at this point due to my back problems, but thankfully my lower back has felt pretty good over the last several months. It's my mid back that hurts now due to proper posture and every growing boobs!
I have finally felt much more normal recently. It feels as though the fog has lifted and I'm seeing clearly again. For a while there I thought I was going to slip in to a depression. It really took a toll on my mental stability and had me wondering if I was ever going to be normal again. And normal at this point is relative. Mentally I'm back to normal but of course my body is ever changing. There are foods and other things that I still don't tolerate and I have on and off days of nausea and headaches. I'm finally to the point where I'm ready to get back to working out! Baby steps.
Oh, still no baby bump!
What's next?
I have a baby shower in 3 months. I will actually have 2 of them. One up north and one down south. I'm guessing I have to put together a registry? ? I found a list of needs online and quickly closed the tab. It's a bit much to take in. I guess I should start at some point? Or maybe not? I'll wait another month for the ultrasound that should confirm the sex of the baby and go from there. I don't have a clue about nursery decor or color themes. Lord help me. We are moving in April so I guess I can put that part off until then.
So really not too much has changed other than I'm not horribly ill anymore. Oh, I did get round ligament pain and thought my uterus was trying to kill me. When that happens you can feel it move around. So super gross!
